That Time I Hit a Pole…and 19 other reasons driving’s not all it’s cracked up to be

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minivan

1.  Its surprisingly easy to crash into things. 

“I’ve hit a parked car, a small tree, a moving car, and the curb.  But thankfully no people…yet.”

 2.  Especially if you drive the family mini-van

“My parents should be thanking me for the fact that I’ve only backed into two other cars considering I basically drive a bus.”

 3.  And if those things are parked cars

“When I went to pull my car out of my driveway, I turned the steering wheel all the way to the left before I had pulled out and when I took my foot off the break, my car swung into the side of my mom’s car.  Needless to say, she was not pleased when I ran crying into the house to tell her.”

“Rushing into the gravel lot, I swerved into a spot and hit the car next to me.  There was someone inside so I got out and ran away quickly.”

 4.  Or trees

“I was pulling into the driveway and my dad started to yell about avoiding the tree.  I got overwhelmed so I accidentally stepped on the gas and hit the tree.”

5.  Or poles

“The first time my mom let me drive to school after getting my permit, I turned onto Popham without checking to see if a car was coming.  One was.  My mom started screaming even though the car hadn’t hit us but I panicked and crashed into a pole.”

6.  Or moving cars.

“Yes, I’ve gotten into an accident.  No, I don’t want to tell you about it.”

 7.  Parking is a nightmare

“On the third day of school the gravel lot was completely filled.   I parked on the grass and came back to a $30 ticket.  I probably had it coming but what was I supposed to do, not go to school?”

“I got in an accident with somebody who had the exact same car as me when we backed out of mirrored spaces in the village at the same angle and both couldn’t see each other from the ways our cars were turned.  So that was fun.”

“I once forgot to put the car in park when I parked on a big hill.  It rolled forward and hit the car in front of it while my friends were still in the back seat.”

8.  Particularly when its of the parallel variety.

“I drove to Hartsdale to get coffee with two friends this one time and was having a lot of trouble trying to parallel park my car.   After an uncomfortable number of attempts, this woman on the street asked me to take care of her kids while she parked for me.  I’m not really sure what I was thinking letting a stranger take my car…I guess since I had her kids hostage I thought it would be okay?”

“I can’t even tell you the number of times strangers on the street have signaled to me when to stop backing up because I was about to hit the car parked behind me.  Actually, I can tell you.  It was twice – the exact number of times I’ve parallel parked for purposes other than the road test.”

9.  It can be hard to distinguish between the gas and the brake

“I was pulling into my driveway right after taking the road test and I opened the door to check how far I was from the curb.  I’m not really sure what happened but I somehow thought the gas pedal was the brake so I slammed on it.  The open door hit a tree and fell off.  My dad just looked at me really sadly and walked away.”

 10.  And drive and reverse.

“The first time I drove on Post, I made a left into the wrong lane, and when I realized I was going the wrong way, I drove in reverse to get back to the street I had turned off of.”

11.  Side view mirrors are much too easily damaged

“One time I hit a pole and my whole side view mirror fell off.”

“Both my parents were gone, so I decided to treat myself and park in the normally occupied garage for the first time.  Pulling in, I hit the wall and knocked off my side view mirror.” 

12.  And speed bumps are hard to see.

“I forgot to slow down at the speed bump by the gyms and almost tipped my car over.”

13.  First time driving experiences can be traumatic.

“During my first driving lesson, I accidentally ran a red light.  I heard police sirens in back of me so I panicked and started to speed, only to realize that they weren’t actually after me.”

“My first time driving I drove into a bush and cried.”

14.  Driving our parents expensive cars is usually a mistake.

“I backed out of my driveway into the car parked across the street the one day I drove my mom’s Mercedez instead of my crappy Toyota.  I owe her $4000.”

15.  Our initial reactions tend towards panic. 

“I got stuck in the middle of the five corners once.  Cars were coming towards me and I started screaming and the rest is just kind of a blur.”

16.  But still, the independence is nice.

17.  Especially when you independently have to pay to fix that womans BMW;

“A week after I got my license I pulled out of a spot and into some lady’s car.  She started cursing me out in Chinese and made me pay the $500 to get the barely visible scratches painted over.”

18.  Or independently have to spend $50 filling your not-so-fuel-efficient car up with gas.

“I’m not exaggerating when I say that 90 cents out of every dollar I earn goes to paying for gas.”

“Watching the “total sale” numbers on the pump go up gives me anxiety.”

19.  Or independently have to find your way home when your phone turned GPS chooses now to die.

“I drove in circles around White Plains for half an hour one night trying to find the Bronx River Parkway.”

20.  Maybe this whole driving things not all its cracked up to be.

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