They aren’t judging you, they’re judging your application. They aren’t judging you, they’re judging your application. They aren’t judging you, they’re judging your application. Who am I kidding – I JUST WANT TO KNOW.
I’m not allowed to freak out yet. I still have almost an entire week. I’ll just write some other applications to take my mind off of it and to remind myself that there are other schools in the world.
Okay, College Option B: “Why Us?” What do you mean why you? You have a lot of nerve to ask why you when my ED school had a prompt that was both creative and interesting. Actually, it was a pain in the neck. But still, I really don’t want to write this. And what if I do end up getting in? Then I would have wasted time I could have been spending doing homework, or watching Friends, or, you know, freaking out.
I can’t focus. Why can’t I focus? I couldn’t possibly have more things to do and less motivation to do them. Maybe I’ll write a blog post. Maybe people really don’t want to hear it. Maybe I don’t want to hear it. Maybe this is a good time to take an indefinite hiatus.
I guess I’ll ask my friends what they think.
Friend 1: Wait, you already got into college? Alright not talking to you for awhile…
Friend 2: Wait, she didn’t get in. Alright, it’s clearly not past the three week waiting period to bring up college again.
Friend 3: Okay, that’s a lot of obscenities. Okay, she doesn’t seem to be in a very good place. Okay, wow, she’s freaking out. Okay, relatively speaking, I’m at least a little sane.
No new emails. No new posts on the admissions website. I guess maybe I could check college confidential. Maybe another applicant who is in the exact same boat as me will have insight into what the admissions officers are thinking. Rachel who are you kidding, you have the page bookmarked for christ’s sake. Well maybe I could check it again. As in, maybe another applicant who is in the exact same boat as me will have gained insight into what the admissions officers are thinking within the past five minutes.
My friend heard back. They said December 15th for her too and she heard back. WHY HAVEN’T I HEARD BACK? Will pressing refresh make the email come faster? Better try, you never know.
Also, I should probably open my backpack at some point this week…
I think I’m having a heart attack. Is this what it feels like to have a heart attack? I think I read on Stumbleupon that eating chocolate reduces anxiety. I think I just completely made that up to rationalize all the chocolate I’ve been eating. This isn’t my fault, it’s the holidays – there’s a lot of chocolate lying around. And also chocolate makes everything better. Except it doesn’t really seem to be helping. WHY ISN’T IT HELPING?
Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit. But they said it would come tomorrow. On day zero, not day one. Well actually, they said the latest it would come is tomorrow. But still, I was supposed to be alone. I was supposed to be lying on my couch in fuzzy pajamas while drinking hot chocolate and watching reruns of Friends. I was not supposed to be in Comp Gov. And this is why it’s bad to check your phone during class.
Should I open it?
Should I not open it?
I’m going to open it.
I can’t look.