How to Transfer: The Real Life Fiasco

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  1. Freak out when you’re not happy every minute of every day – If college is supposed to the best four years of your life, then every minute counts, after all.
  2. Spend too much time scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed and wondering why your Thursday night is being spent scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed and eating Nutella out of the jar rather than “turning up.”
  3. Feel intense FOMO as a result of said scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed and said lack of turning up.
  4. Walk on to the varsity fencing team in the hope of channeling your anxiety into something productive – there’s nothing like stabbing people with a steel rod to make you feel more in control.
  5. Come home for Thanksgiving and try not to compare your college experience to that of your friends.
  6. Fail not to compare your college experience to that of your friends.
  7. Worry that what you’re feeling is more than FOMO.
  8. Become obsessed with the idea of spending all of junior year (and maybe also sophomore year, and maybe also senior year) studying abroad.
  9. Realize that you’re more excited about the idea of leaving than you are about the idea of experiencing new cultures and foods and places.
  10. Google “How to transfer”.
  11. Make sure you find a non-satirical guide (hint: this isn’t it).
  12. Try to casually bring up the idea during your weekly call home. Feel unsurprised when your parents tell you to stop being difficult.
  13. Try to casually bring up the idea to your friends. Feel surprised when they’re supportive. (Apparently they just want you to be happy??)
  14. Cry real tears the day you have to make a second CommonApp account.
  15. Forget the password to your College Board account when you go to forward your SAT scores because who knew that was something you’d ever need again.
  16. Have a mental breakdown as you try to figure out how to answer the CommonApp’s “Why do you want to transfer?” essay without coming across as entitled and unappreciative for wanting to transfer schools when most of the planet doesn’t even get to go to college.
  17. Share the GoogleDoc of your “Why do you want to transfer?” essay with 12+ people. Preferably people who know you. Preferably English majors.
  18. Don’t tell your parents you’re applying to half the schools you’re applying to because you’re technically only allowed to go to school on the East Coast (whoops).
  19. Wonder if you should let your future roommates know you might be transferring – you don’t want to screw anyone else over but you don’t want to be homeless next year, either.
  20. Play the waiting game all over again. Wonder why you did this to yourself.
  21. Feel a mixture of relief and guilt when you actually get in somewhere.
  22. Ask yourself, with irritation, what you’re going to do with your Haverford mug, sweatpants, pajama pants, t-shirt, long-sleeve t-shirt, sweatshirts (plural), baseball cap, and frickin squirrel decals that you painstakingly cut out fur tuft by fur tuft.Squirrel
  23. Shake your head at your current state of college apparel:Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 11.09.51 PM
  24. Spend fifteen minutes drafting the perfectly-worded Facebook message to Susie, a potential future roommate, while having your friend at school scope the situation out. When one of your home friends asks for an update on the roommate search, go to send her the following screenshot:Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 12.11.46 PMAccidentally click on Safari in the process of copy and pasting and realize with horror that the image has been sent to Susie instead:Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 4.54.30 PM
  25. Concede that this is the type of thing that would really only happen to you.
  26. Watch your mom start to tear up as you’re hugging your best friends goodbye during move out day: “Thanks for getting her through this year.”
  27. Realize that you’re actually going to miss the place you put so much work into trying to leave because you put so much work into getting there in the first place. And you didn’t hate it at all – in fact, a lot of the time, you really liked it. It just wasn’t the place you felt like you could thrive. And that’s what college is all about, right?
  28. Or is it turning up?

One thought on “How to Transfer: The Real Life Fiasco

    Maggie Favretti said:
    July 31, 2015 at 7:49 PM

    Hi, Rachel, I don’t think I ever really responded directly to this — my favorite part is the squirrel-fuzz. Witty as ever. Thinking about you, Maggie (Fav)


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